bruise.

i have a very large bruise on the outside of my left leg.
size: 6.73cm x 8.22cm
hue: Red 50, Green 90, Blue 104
compounded with large and impressively painful knot.

interestingly, i am not certain as to how this bruise originated. but i do have a couple of theories.

theory #1:
i have a secret and violent boyfriend who was enraged when i confessed my hopeless devotion and reciprocated adoration for the Brawny Man.

theory #2:
i saved a young orphan child from near death when she darted in front of a speeding car, sustaining no injury save the bruise in question.

theory #3:
i was involved in a bar brawl when, after a few too many mojitos, i attacked a bearded man for referring to his wife as "the little woman."

theory #4:
i work in a warehouse and dropped a bin on myself.

theory #5:
i'm bored.