i should be better at this than i am. i should have learned how to breathe by now. you'd think so, anyway. life is life and it involves losing things. it involves losing fulfillment in ministry sometimes. it involves losing the hope of what church could be...hope of what it should be. it involves losing momentum. it involves losing people...sometimes groups at a time...sometimes an entire worship team worth. it involves losing safety. losing opportunity. losing aspirations. losing trust. losing respect. losing patience. losing friends...
life involves loss. and you'd think i'd know that by now. you'd think i'd be okay with it. or at least that in the midst of it, i would be able to see all the GAINS. you'd think i'd be able to talk myself out of the anxiety that amasses itself like a tumor under my collar bone. but i can't and it makes me feel like a fool. like such a fool.
because i gain so much. there is so much fullness to be gained and assimilated. and i know that. i just can't seem to convince the mass in my heart of it.
Merry Christmas 2018
7 years ago
3 comments:
hang in there?
one day at a time?
this too shall pass?
I miss you
Take a xanax and rock in the corner like the rest of us. I've heard people do that when they experience overwhelming anxiety. I've heard. Pure speculation on my part. Hypothetical, if you will.
i kind of thought this blog would be about catholic mass.
it's ok that it's not... but do you want to go to catholic mass with me in 5 weeks?
but i just love you and resonate with your blogs these days. can't wait to see you.
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