so i've been writing a lot of songs lately. not to record personally, but to sell, perhaps, if lightning strikes. and i have to say...i like it. i get to hang out with a couple of amazingly talented girls, and i get to sing...which i miss with my heart. i'm not expecting anything to be lucrative, but this productive feeling is a bit of a high. i think i want to keep writing songs like this no matter where i am or what else i'm doing. and if it happened to end up being lucrative...well that would be candy.
a friend asked me recently, as so many do, "what are you up to these days?" and my father in me wanted to respond, "oh about 5'5"." but i kicked him in the face and sent him back to the darkest recesses of my soul and told my friend that i felt like an old cassette tape someone left on 'pause' and forgot about...like i'm starting to make that strained "whir whir" noise, begging for someone to remember, press the damned button, and let the music resume.
but you already know this. i write about it a lot. it's like i have some delusion that one of my magnificent dreams must come true, and then, THEN, i'll feel like i'm really living. but i'm trying, as always, to learn to enjoy this place (wherever "this place" may be at the time). there really is so much...so so much that i enjoy. so here's a song natalie watts and i wrote together about it:
Learning to Live
verse 1
How did I become this way?
So angry, so abrasive
The girl that you avoid at all cost
I had this picture in my head
Of how it would be,
And I never thought I'd be this lost
verse 2
I thought that I would feel alive
By this point in my life
But I'm finding that it's in my hands
And I dont have to know the plan,
Finally I understand...
chorus
So I'm learning to live
With my feet on the ground
To not spend my whole life chasing clouds
Well I'm not where I thought
That I wanted to be
But my life will not wait to begin
No my life will not wait to begin
When I live out my dreams
verse 3
Sometimes I wonder "what if
I never get there"
Will I ever be okay with where I am
'Cause now is not the in-between
For something better
It's all I have and all I need
To be in every breath I breathe
That should be enough for me
repeated tag
I will live in this day You have made...
Merry Christmas 2018
7 years ago
3 comments:
1. I love writing songs with you. I'm so excited for this afternoon.
2. I love your new blog layout. Is it actually new or have I just been reading your posts on RSS too long?
3. You haven't been forgotten, you've just been gearing up for the good stuff.
1. back atcha on both accounts.
2. yes, it's new. i've had the same one since 2006...i figured it was time for a change.
3. :) thank you. this IS the good stuff.
Wow. I'm crying. You and I must share some small part of our brain...
This is it my friend. And, I am nearly 20 years older than you, yet feeling the exact same things. Still.
We are there. This might be as good as it gets.
And, most of the time...it's kinda good. No, it's very good.
I love you.
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