student of grace. part 6.

process = grace.

i wish i understood people better than i do. i've learned, at least a little bit, that everyone has something to offer. i've said before that i'm someone you have to win over...that i have to know you like me before i'll like you (disclaimer: i don't like this about myself and am working to change it). but even knowing that, i'm learning that the more of someone's story you hear, the more even the most unpleasant of qualities becomes acceptable and understandable.

i just need to give people a chance. i just need to get that there is always more to the story. and i need to give myself that grace, too.

again, insecurity is the root of all evil. the root of all fear. the root of all misunderstanding. the days i realize i'm drowning in it are usually the days i roll my eyes at myself and have to remember i'm a product of process. if only i could remember that i'm smothered in grace -- if only i could remember that i'm growing (or at least not regressing) -- if only i could remember that i am acceptable because of that grace and not because of opinion -- then i would be free from anxiety, free from fear, free from the obsession of approval. then i would be that woman that i dream of being who laughs at the days to come...who smiles at the grief in front of her. i look at her and am grateful for the promise of becoming more like her. a woman of peace. a woman of grace. a woman who doesn't lose the ability to breathe just because life gets a little rough. a woman of faith. someday.